"This is not a sad story. Really, it’s not a sad story. It is normal.” It seemed like she was trying pretty hard to convince us not to feel sorry for her. Maybe she didn’t want pity. Maybe she didn’t want to sound strange. Maybe she was just emphasizing the truth that other Korean families are like hers, and that this is all she expects from life.
Several friends stopped by to chat Friday night after vespers, and the conversation drifted toward the differences between cultures. “I have never hugged my father. I have never hugged my brother. I have hugged my mother three times,” Nadia explained with little emotional expression.
Nadia remembers being hugged by her mom once as a child, once when she broke up with a boyfriend, and once when she failed the university entrance exam.
The amazed look on my face led to the declaration that it was not a sad story. Nadia is surprised by the physical contact she sees in the U.S. TV shows that air here. I’m not sure which one of us is more shocked by the other’s culture. I remain convinced that this is a phenomenally sad story.
She did remember later that she had hugged her brother when he had given her money for New Years. And her mother has squeezed her hands at times. Well, okay. I guess it really isn’t so extreme. Never mind; yes it is.
So who does she hug? Boyfriends and close girl friends.
And why doesn’t she hug her family? She is showing them respect.
Thank you, Confucius.
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